The Little Mermaid and Me

Disney's The Little Mermaid released to theaters in the fall of '89. I was six. I remember my parents taking me to see it in the theater. I remember being frightened at the climax by Ursula (Giant evil octopus woman on the big screen? Who wouldn't be?), but it didn't change my feelings about the movie. I was hooked.

I collected all things Mermaid. Pencils, beach towel, at least one, if not two swimsuits. My best friend and I watched the video over and over, singing the songs. I dressed as Ariel the following Halloween, wearing an old sea green dress of my mother's, with curling ribbon around my feet to make it look like a tail. I think I had orange curling ribbon in my hair, too, to make it appear more "red" like Ariel's.

While I loved Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin, for some reason The Little Mermaid was the seminal film of my youth.

I know I'm not alone. I know several women my age who can sing "Part of Your World" word for word, without much provocation.

For the last couple years, we've attended Christmas concerts at the Hult with my family. It started with the Eugene Symphony Yuletide Celebration, last year it was the Mason Williams show, and this year back to the Symphony. We missed the tap dancing Santas, let me tell you. The other lure to this year's Symphony extravaganza: Jodi Benson. Who is none other than the voice of Ariel. Daughter of King Triton. Wife of Prince Erik. Inspiration to all.

The moment she stepped out onto stage and spoke, I waited for her to tell Flounder he was such a guppy. I loved every moment, especially when she sang "Part of Your World," and believe, me, I didn't know until moments beforehand if anything from Mermaid would be sung at all.

After the show my mom and aunt were on a particular mission. First, they wanted an autograph, but they both knew that was child's play. What they really wanted was a photo. With me and Jodi.

You should have seen my aunt. She positioned herself at the autograph table, and when the moment was right, she said "Jodi!", expecting Jodi to turn when she heard her name.

Which she did. And smiled beautifully.

Holiday Shopping, Part II

I really love finding gifts for people. Gifting tends to be one of my love languages. I don't usually gift other than Christmas and birthdays, but when I do, a LOT of thought goes in to it.

The kinds of gifts I give vary per person, but the response I'm after is always the same - lit eyes, a smile, interest. I've had my hits and misses, but I always like to try.

For example, we gave my nephew potatoes for Christmas last year. Yes, we got him books too, but when he and I had talked earlier (he was eight at the time), he told me he wanted potatoes. So I gave him potatoes in a gift sack, with ribbon tied around each potato. He sat there, on my in-laws' couch, and proceeded to take the ribbon off each one. It still makes me happy thinking about it.

Finding Christmas gifts, though, can be overwhelming. So here are some thoughts from me about keeping life as (relatively) simple as possible during the holiday season...

1. Make a list of everyone you're giving to. Write what you're giving - or thinking about giving - to that person next to each name. Save this list for next year. Sure, you'll remember some of these gifts, but I never remember what color of earrings I've already made for my sister, and I hate asking. Keeping a master list of the finals solves everything.

2. Keep your recipient in mind. You might think something's the greatest item ever, but if your gift-ee doesn't think so, it's not a good gift. And don't choose just because you want to borrow it later. Make sure it's something the recipient will actually like.

3. Consider a theme. Two years ago, I knit hats for my brothers-in-law and nephew, and hat and scarf sets for my sister and niece (in case you're wondering why my own brother didn't get a hat, it was because he was going to Africa in a matter of weeks, and a woolen cap didn't seem all that practical. Oh, and Danny already had a hat). Last year with the book I scaled back and we did a book Christmas for most everyone. It was really handy, because we did the bulk of our shopping on Amazon and Half.com. More on bargain shopping in a bit...

4. Shop year-round. Okay, saying that in November this isn't so practical, but Christmas will return next year. Generally, I'm too tired from the holidays to consider shopping until later, but one of these years I'll actually buy yarn and knit far ahead of time.

5. Shop online - the deals are there. We found really great products for great deals the year we did our book Christmas. And last year, I found superwash merino yarn for Danny's (as yet unfinished) sweater online at a really great price. The rule to online Christmas shopping is to do it early. We had a close call last year for one item, which almost didn't arrive on time. It was stressful!

When buying books, DVDs, CDs, that sort of thing online, condition is everything. I'm all for finding good deals, but for a gift, don't buy used. It's like pulling a book off your shelf and wrapping it. A dinged, cracked case or dented cover sends the wrong message. Visible dust is a no-no. I have no issue with remainder marks on books (black marker line on the top or bottom of the pages), since you can buy books new from bookstores like that.

If you buy a book that's marked new by the seller and it arrives obviously not new (and I've had this happen a couple times), by all means notify the seller. Most of the time they're horrified and send you another, gratis. This is another reason to order early, so you've got all the time in the world.

6. Speaking of damaged goods, re-gift with care. Anything you re-gift shouldn't look re-gifted. And if you're re-gifting, it should be the kind of thing you'd give the recipient anyway. Obviously, this does not hold true for White Elephant Gifts, which are my favorite way to discard odd gifts with style. Just try to take things that could potentially be enjoyed by someone at the party. This is why you invite people with a sense of humor...

7. Try to finish all of your shopping at least two weeks before Christmas. I'm not saying that to make people's lives harder, it's just that entering into places of retail in those last two weeks is like stepping into the Fire Swamp. On purpose. The crowds, the lines, the lack of parking, why do that to yourself?? Also, stores get picked over at this point.

8. Shop TJ Maxx, Ross, and Marshall's. Again, the deals are there. This kind of shopping you have to do with an open mind. What I like about these stores is that you can find really nice, high quality items marked way down. Cashmere is suddenly affordable (TJ stocks a lot of cashmere in the winter, btw). These stores get VERY picked over in the weeks before Christmas, so hit them early. Look for leather gloves, scarves, glassware, bath and spa items, hats, blankets, runners - walk through the whole store, you don't know where a good find is hiding. Check Costco, too, for books, clothes, and food gifts.

9. Rules for happy shopping still apply, especially if you have children with you! Make sure everyone goes potty/ gets a diaper change before you leave. Stay hydrated, bring snacks. You might opt for stores with easily accessible public restrooms.

10. If you're shopping alone, and you hate lines, you might try my sanity trick - take a library book in your purse. Library book, because you're clearly not shoplifting. Having something to do in line can make all the difference! You may look a little nutters, but at least you're happy by the time you reach the register.

A note on After Christmas Sales:

1. Case the joint ahead of time. This is a particularly good idea for stores like Target.

2. Only buy items if they're truly a good deal. Honestly, this is the only time I buy Christmas decorations.

3. This is also a good time to stock up on gift wrap, gift bags, gift tags, ribbon that sort of thing.

And most importantly -

4. Store all of your After Christmas Sale Loot in one place, near your Christmas stuff. If you can't find it come December next year, that's kind of sad.

Not that it has anything to do with shopping, but I'm also intending to wrap as I go this year. Last year's last-minute wrapping was almost as much fun as invasive dentistry. If you're buying items one at a time, you might consider wrapping them immediately afterward.

My gift shopping starts tomorrow. Now I have to decide when the Christmas music is coming out...

"I'll be home for...crap."

I kid you not. During my sister's piano recital (which she RULED, by the way), one sweet little boy stepped up to the piano, played the opening chromatic chords to "I'll be Home for Christmas," but had a little trouble with the beginning lyrics. The above title is a direct quote.

It's Christmas Eve Eve, the equivalent of "Dead Week" for last minute shoppers of the family. For other families that day would be tomorrow, but my family celebrates the Birth of Christ on the evening of the 24th, which moves everything up a bit.

This has been a difficult Christmas season in some respects. I love Christmas, and I love everything that comes with it - the baking, the tree, the lights, the choosing of gifts. I was sick - the first time - when we went out for our tree. It sat undecorated for a while, until I felt better enough to go on a rampage.

I've learned a lot about myself and sickness this month. I've discovered that if I'm sick for a while, the moment I feel a bit better I'll go on a bender. All of a sudden, come hell or high water, I find myself 100% devoted to getting something done. The first time it was the tree, which I decorated myself (Danny was sick by then). In my infinite wisdom, I started the lights at the top and worked my way down. It seemed logical at the time. Now...less so.

Things were equalizing, we were both healthy, until I got sick last week. Again. So when I started coming out of that one, I began wrapping gifts. All the gifts. I blew my nose, then wrapped more.

I take wrapping pretty seriously. There is something deeply, deeply troubling to me if the identity of the gift can be guessed just by looking at it. Starting at a young age, I learned how to ID my gifts. I thumped the front, feeling for a plastic window. I felt around the edges to see if it was a Nordstrom box (they had wide edges at the time). I pressed the paper down to try to see through it. I shook. I rattled. I annoyed my parents with my startling accuracy.

Oh, and I had my patented question: "Is it in its original box?"

Seriously. After that, my parents took the wrapping up a notch. Clothes for my American Girl doll were wrapped inside a standard garmet box...along with a seatbelt clip and some bolts. Christmas has never been the same. What's funny is that I married someone who does not have the same compulsion to examine his gifts. He's happy opening them and being surprised. Can't understand it.

Anyway, I got sick, I felt better, I wrapped. There is one gift I'm particularly proud of in its sneakiness - not only is the item entirely disguised, but I disguised it using a collection of objects I've been trying to get rid of for six months.

Then my Christmas cards arrived from Costco Printing, and I started in on those. Fifty cards. Twenty-four hours. I'm actually quite proud.

My sister's Christmas recital was the night before last. She played "Falling Slowly" from Once, and it was incredible. But as the rest of the 75-minute program progressed, I had some time to think about music. Particularly Christmas music.

Such as...have you ever though about how creepy the song "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" really is? It makes him sound like a KGB operative...he knows everything. Scary. I mean -

"He sees you when you're sleeping,

He knows when you're awake,

He knows if you've been bad or good,

Because he wiretapped your place. Hey!"

(Note: I tried to put in a line about printing seditious pamphlets, but I couldn't get it to fit. "Pamphlets" is a tricky word to rhyme with

Other songs I dislike:

"Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" - Too cute-cutesy. Like the phrase "fro-yo", but worse.

"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" - I'm not sure how this works, since most people put their trees in corners or against walls. Maybe the line "Rockin' back and forth in front of the Christmas tree" didn't make it past the test group stage. Either way, there's no lyrics with any meaning or cleverness, and even if there were, I'd likely resent it anyway.

"We Wish You a Merry Christmas" - BO-ring melody, and that line about bringing us the figgy pudding has always set me off. I don't know anyone who has ever baked fig pudding, so demanding something so disgusting and likely unattainable is doubly rude.

There's my riff on Christmas music. As far as the rest of life, I need to work on my book today, which I'm officially halfway through. The plot is progressing well, and my character is currently outside of Amish country, which makes my life easier. I've had a copy of Amish Grace sitting around for a month, but I haven't been able to get myself to read it. Having read about everything to do with the Amish, I think I've found my limit.

Ideally, I might bake today. We'll see. But whatever happens, it won't be to the tune of "We Wish you a Merry Christmas," because I'm clean out of figgy pudding.

P.S. Australia review coming soon. In the meantime, go see it.