He Said She Said: Finer Points of How to Write Dialogue

At least my life is following the script - true to form, now that I'm done with the main business of moving (though in the upcoming days we need to pare down our belongings yet again, and put enough in storage so that what we're taking to Memphis actually fits in our car), I'm sick.

Sick enough with a potpourri of ailments that, while none of them are all that bad individually, the combination provides a potent cocktail of misery that's had me in bed the last few days.

It's just as well, because I hardly managed 10,000 words during last year's NaNoWriMo, and between the move and the illness...well...I'm just glad I'm not under deadline at the moment. Being sick while under deadline is the pits.

So rather than talk about being sick, I thought I'd write about writing dialogue.

I love dialogue. It's one of the parts of writing that's the easiest for me, that's the most fun, the most gratifying. Here are some things I've found to be true and helpful about writing dialogue:

1.) Think about how and where you're staging the conversation. Consider the photo above (yes, it is from Gilmore Girls. Yes, I do think you should watch Gilmore Girls if you want to learn about dialogue. Thanks for asking) - Luke, bless his heart, is going to teach Lorelei how to fish before her date with another man (incidentally, her date is Billy Burke, the future father of Bella Swan). You can watch the scene here.

That's the basic scenario. It's fantastic because you've got all sorts of things to work with - wading pools, strange clothes, fishing equipment. Giving your characters things to do and interact with will make your action beats and dialogue tags a lot easier. The fact of the matter is that when we talk, we don't tend to stand still and speak. Rather, we fidget. We interact with our space.

2.) Dialogue written in an active sequence (practice fishing in a wading pool) will often create more momentum than dialogue written in a passive sequence (sitting at a coffee shop). If you're trying to get your characters to move, make them talk and walk. If they need to sit and figure things out, let them sit. Just sit them somewhere interesting. (There's that episode of House in Season Four when House tells the TV crew that they talk while walking, it gives the illusion of the story moving forward... :-)

3.) What's not being said is just as important as what is being said. Consider what your characters want, and how they express it verbally. Consider what they're afraid of, and how that shades what they say. Be aware of subtext. In the fishing scene, there's a lot of silly with the fishing equipment before Luke gets down to business and asks enough questions to find out why exactly Lorelei's going fishing, though he's already got an idea. Notice how Lorelei hedges and Luke keeps probing, and when he finds out, things get quieter. When Lorelei says "You don't want to hear about my personal life," Luke stays quiet for a while, before asking "So this will be your first date or second date?"

He answers indirectly. He doesn't say "Why, yes, I do want to hear about your personal life," his evasion shows that he wants to know, but he doesn't want to be obvious about it. That he's hurt that she doesn't think he'd be interested. But he also wants to stay in the picture - he shows that by offering his pole and tackle box - which is a whole lot more interesting than Luke saying "Hey, when you're done with Charlie Swan, do you want to go out?"

4.) Dialogue tags and action beats. Dialogue tags are the "He said" bits that we stick around the dialogue so we know who's talking.

Now, it's okay to use certain amounts of "he said, she said" for tagging purposes. Readers will notice them less than if you try to get creative and use "he articulated" or "she uttered." However, you can also use action beats instead of tags.

Consider:

"I don't know why, but I like the other one better," she said.

"I don't know why, but I like the other one better," she said, wrinkling her nose.

The action beat attached to the tag is pretty straightforward, but gives a bit more detail visually.

"I don't know why," she tilted her head to the side. "But I like the other one better."

Throwing the beat into the middle puts a longer pause in the the center than you'd get from just a comma. This helps if you want to give your characters time to think and have it show up on the page. Depending on how you use the beats, you can mix up your pacing quite easily.

That's it for now...thinking about taking a pre-dinner nap. Hoping tomorrow is the magic day that I'll feel well enough to leave the house...also hoping this blog is coherent. I trust you to tell me if it's not.

ECPA Happiness...and Moving

Big, big news in the life of this writer - Simply Sara hit #13 on the prestigious ECPA list. This was sometime last week, or possibly the week before. If I think about it long enough, I remember that it was November 1st, because that's when the list released...but the last couple weeks are a blur. So here's the pertinent information.

1. Simply Sara is #13.

2. You can see it here.

3. It is good. There was rejoicing.

4. We celebrated by packing.

I'd share a picture here, one of Danny lining up all of our DVD cases, except that I don't know where that particular camera is, and I don't know where the connection cord for it is, and I'm not at all motivated to go look.

Just know that it's funny, and it was a lot of DVDs.

Part one of our moving process is over. We've left our apartment for good, the one we moved into after being married for about two weeks. When all of our things were packed up and strewn on the sidewalk outside, I walked to our bedroom, leaned against the door frame and cried. Not that I have a deep affection for that apartment, with its Berber carpet that chewed up the bottoms of my feet, cobweb-prone entryway, and inability to stay heated, but it was our home, and life was changing, and it was changing quickly, and I hadn't quite settled myself out for how I felt about all of the life alterations that were coming at us so quickly.

We moved the bulk of our belongings (and I do mean bulk, and the wonderful people who helped us move would agree) into a storage unit in Portland. The rest of the things are with us, at my cousin's home in Northeast Portland, just a mile from where (conveniently) Danny's job is for the time being.

Things that I thought would fit into our car didn't. Spacial reasoning, I've discovered, is not my thing. We have more packing ahead of us. I'm living pleasantly in denial about it until then.

Memphis is in our future; at this point, it looks like we'll be in Tri-Cities by March-ish, though, which is nice because I wasn't looking forward to trying to pack for a shifty Tennessee springtime.

Until we leave for Memphis, I'm looking forward to exploring Portland for Gemma's sake and tracking down places she'd like. Cacao, Powell's (naturally), Saint Cupcake...all good things, though I'm waiting until tomorrow when I have more energy and don't have to fight the weather quite as much.

Feeling the need to bake something, though I'm not sure what. I've got the Rustic Fruit Desserts book, which has much deliciousness between its pages. The one trickiness is that my cousin's oven is a gas model that requires lighting before use. Now, I'm afraid of ovens as it is, so throw in matches and the manual lighting of gas and it's kind of the trifecta of terror.

That said, I've been lighting the stove successfully (though I tend to jump a foot back once the gas lights) for 24 hours (the lure of tea. You know how it goes) and have yet to die. So logic would hold that I'll be able to conquer the oven soon :-)

Let's see what else...if you're a Portland reader, know that there's a signed copy of Plain Jayne at the Lloyd Center Barnes & Noble.

I'm hoping to be back on track (or, really, on a track at all) for NaNoWriMo. Until then, here's my question for you - how do you pronounce NaNoWriMo?

Plot Twist

One of the reasons I haven't blogged much is that I've had to be careful. Very careful. Because things have been very much up in the air.

The big news? Danny got a wonderful job as a Project Engineer in Richland, Washington. It's with Barnhart Crane and Rigging, the company you call if you need a nuclear reactor moved. And yes, there are nuclear reactors in Richland. Hence the job placement.

It wasn't what we expected, though. Danny's been pursued by this company for several months now, for the last bit of it we were looking at a move to Memphis, Tennessee, where the company is headquartered. It was all Memphis, Memphis, Memphis, we love you in Memphis, until we got the offer letter for...Richland. Which was a surprise, but a good one.

Things I like about Richland/Tri-Cities:

1. It's still in the Pacific Northwest. No gigantic culture or time-zone changes.

2. It's within driving distance for family. This has the parents kicking up their heels like it's 1999.

3. The weather is dryer (it's the desert side of Washington), so I won't be as susceptible to barometric-pressure-caused headaches and creakiness of the knees.

4. Nearness of Tillamook Cheese.

5. Nearness of Oregon Chai.

6. Nearness of Odwalla Juice.

7. Availability of Topography (I don't do flat. I equate flat with post-apocalyptic.)

8. The Columbia river flows nearby. I like that river.

We will still be in Memphis, Tennessee for 4-6 months while Danny does the mandatory company engineer training, where he'll get to learn to weld and do all sorts of fun man activities.

I, on the other hand, will be writing a book.

Likely at Panera.

The story about the photo above? Not knowing when/if we would be leaving, I went out and took pictures of some of my favorite trees near our apartment complex a couple weeks ago. This shot was my absolute favorite :-)

Wool Weather and Kindle Reading

So. It's October. And it's crazy cold in the mornings. I like this post by Stephanie Pearl McPhee, The Yarn Harlot, about fall and the waiting game before turning on the heat, and the things you do before you get there.

I find, for cold mornings, that running laundry and the dishwasher will heat our little apartment just as effectively as turning on the heater, if not more so. Tea is also good. And socks (as much as I dislike them). And knitting (it's like a lap blanket that turns into a sweater). And wool.

There's something about my brain that, once the temp drops below, say, 45 degrees, all I want to wear is wool. Wool wool wool. Wool and mohair. And cashmere. My subconsciousness doesn't mess about with sweater weather; it's straight and to the point. Since I have several cute tops I've picked up over the summer months that I'd like to continue wearing, I took a little trip to Loft. Not only are there reasonably priced wool-blend cardigans that are a.) long but b.) femininely fitted (I don't do boxy), but they're on sale when you by two.

I was very good. I didn't buy a scarf. I might when they go on sale, though.

Moving on. Simply Sara is now available here on Kindle! You can read about Sara's adventures in technicolor, fashion, and confusing managers from your Kindle or smart phone.

In further news, we're in the market for a new car. A new to us car, at least. Our current car, Sally, bless her little 2-door heart is at a point where she needs new wheels, tires, brakes, paint, a proper alignment...it is not a short list.

Also, since the "incident of the mouse," our affection for her has waned somewhat. I apologize for not bringing up said incident earlier. It went like this:

1.) One sunny summer morning, I smell a smell. This is not a good smell. This is a "someone stuck cat food into our air vents" smell.

2.) I remember that there has been a thunking sound when we turn the A/C fan on.

3.) I also consider that we live in the middle of a wetland.

4.) I conclude that, in all likelihood, something small and rodenty has crawled into our car and died. Which, depending on how you look at it, could be a romantic way to perish.

For a mouse.

(That was for all the Anne fans out there. You know who you are)

5.) The nice man at the auto fix-it shop took out the mouse. I say nice man because really, he was very sweet, and that's a job I really, really wouldn't want. Ick.

6.) I filled the car with dryer sheets to cover the residual eau de dead mouse smell. The dryer sheets turned out to be almost worse.

All that to say...we're car shopping. And my husband, being an engineering genius (I'm the wife, I get to brag) is spending an increased amount of time looking at cars. He has been tasked to come up with a spreadsheet of the cars of interest, their makes, models, years, mileage, price, etc.

I feel this is very efficient. I also feel that this is a side-effect of being an engineer's wife.

The sweater knitting is going well. I've ripped out the sleeves and yoke a few times, and I need to finish the second sleeve start and begin again. But it's l-o-v-e-l-y, so it's worth it :-)

How about you? How long do you wait to turn on the heat? Any little heating tips in the meantime?

Knitting and Cookies

I'm knitting this sweater from Kristeen Griffin-Grimes' French Girl Knits book with this yarn (best picture I could find, I bought it a while ago) and it's really quite lovely. I love the yarn - it's like knitting a fairytale.

That said, I've been waiting to post because I keep hoping I'll have stuff to post about...

...but life's pretty slow right now. Well, not slow-slow. But there's not a lot of change as yet.

Until then...

1.) If you're anywhere near Eugene, don't miss the Simply Sara book signing even at Barnes & Noble this Sunday, October 3rd, 4pm.

2.) I've been on a chocolate chip cookie making kick. I have the best chocolate chip cookie recipe in the world - that is, if brown sugary, chewing chocolate chip cookies are your thing. The recipe goes like this:

Blend...

1/3 c. butter, softened (I use salted, and don't even think about using margarine. And if you do, stop it.)

1/3 c. Crisco (and I do use butter flavor. So help me.)

1/2 c. granulated sugar

1/2 c. dark brown sugar (don't even think about using light. It will affect the consistency of the cookie)

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

Mix together separately...

1 1/2 c. flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

Combine dry ingredients with wet ingredients. Stir in a heaping cup of chocolate chips. Bake at 375 degrees (preheated oven, naturally) for 8 or so minutes on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet, until they've just just browned on top but still look pretty doughy. They'll collapse, finish baking, and look perfect later.

Most baking people use wire racks to cool. For cookies, I don't. This is partly because I don't own a wire rack. But if you cool cookies on newsprint or some other kind of paper product, the paper absorbs some of the grease (read: fat), giving you a somewhat healthier cookie.

Everyone wins.

3.) I'm crazy mad at Glee right now. The first episode was lame, the second was a mess. The characters, whom I love much, have been reduced to caricatures. The plot...there really isn't one yet, and we're two weeks in.

The way I see it, TV episodes are like chapters. And in the first three chapters of your book, you want to come in with guns blazing. Great characters. Lots of plot. Those chapters are your springboard.

With Glee, not only did they use the cheap voice-over "what everyone did this summer" bit, but instead of working any of the Britney numbers into the plot, they were thrown into a dream sequence. A dream sequence.

The way it's going, we'll have flashback sequences and people falling into pools, just so we can hit as many writing clichés as possible. We're supposed to believe that Mr. Schuester is uptight, but hey, this is the guy who started a boy band with Ken Tenaka. Sang Aerosmith. How uptight can he be? He doesn't think Britney is appropriate but he has no issues with Lady Gaga? Really? I don't like when shows tweak characters (or in this case, flat out maul) to suit a flimsy plot twist. They think viewers won't notice. They think wrong.

4.) I'm also crazy mad at Fringe, though for different reasons. I'm sooooo mad that Walter and Peter haven't figured out that the Olivia sitting next to them is Alternate Olivia. I mean, they're both geniuses. And I'm deeply concerned that the real Olivia has truly been brainwashed by Walternate...

...But I realize this feeling of discontent is the result of things going well in the writing room. So for now, I'm letting it slide.

For now.

Don't watch Fringe? You should start. Really, you should. Because it's better than Glee right now.

5.) Also? The Good Wife? Very good season premier. There was plot. There was character. Makes me want to clap my hands.

6.) If you have a spare minute, watch this bit of ye olde Hollywood joy. Do. It's grand.

7.) Just finished Sophie Kinsella's Mini Shopaholic. Love!

I think that's it by now. In case you were wondering, no I haven't unpacked from ACFW yet. Because that's how we roll...

On returning from ACFW

As you can see, there was fun to be had at ACFW. At that particular time, I was goofing off with my handbag, vaguely registering that Carla's camera was locked, loaded, and firing.

So now you know. I have issues.

At least my husband thinks I'm funny.

ACFW was a lot of fun. I loved getting to meet my publicist Jeane Wynn, and authors Carla Stewart, Mary Ellis, Kathi Lipp, Susan Meissner, Susan May Warren, Rachel Hauck, Julie Garmon, Lynette Sowell, Kellie Coates Gilbert, Brandt Dodson, Jerry Eicher, Cara Putnam, and many others.

I watched my agent win the coveted ACFW Agent of the Year award. That was fun.

A fun experience all the way around, but there are things I would do differently. Thing, singular, actually - I would fly in earlier. I'm an introvert, and dealing with 620 other conferees when I'm crazy exhausted from a long red-eye flight is difficult for me.

But it was great. And it was great having Danny with me. We also visited the Panera across the street - amazing! I didn't have time to hit the TJMaxx that was near by, but I sent it happy thoughts.

We also got to see Danny's aunt and grandmother from Ohio before we flew out, which was a really nice way to wrap up the trip.

...And yes, we did watch House immediately after arriving home (at 10pm), though we did save Castle for later. Loved House, loved Castle, felt like last night's Glee was not quite up to snuff. I'm actually looking forward to the Brittany Spears episode, which I would not have thought possible before, but the season premiere was sorely lacking in the area of character development and grand-scale musical productions.

Fringe is tonight! I'm starting to love autumn. And I'm not just saying that because I had a Pumpkin Spice Latte yesterday...