He Said She Said: Finer Points of How to Write Dialogue

At least my life is following the script - true to form, now that I'm done with the main business of moving (though in the upcoming days we need to pare down our belongings yet again, and put enough in storage so that what we're taking to Memphis actually fits in our car), I'm sick.

Sick enough with a potpourri of ailments that, while none of them are all that bad individually, the combination provides a potent cocktail of misery that's had me in bed the last few days.

It's just as well, because I hardly managed 10,000 words during last year's NaNoWriMo, and between the move and the illness...well...I'm just glad I'm not under deadline at the moment. Being sick while under deadline is the pits.

So rather than talk about being sick, I thought I'd write about writing dialogue.

I love dialogue. It's one of the parts of writing that's the easiest for me, that's the most fun, the most gratifying. Here are some things I've found to be true and helpful about writing dialogue:

1.) Think about how and where you're staging the conversation. Consider the photo above (yes, it is from Gilmore Girls. Yes, I do think you should watch Gilmore Girls if you want to learn about dialogue. Thanks for asking) - Luke, bless his heart, is going to teach Lorelei how to fish before her date with another man (incidentally, her date is Billy Burke, the future father of Bella Swan). You can watch the scene here.

That's the basic scenario. It's fantastic because you've got all sorts of things to work with - wading pools, strange clothes, fishing equipment. Giving your characters things to do and interact with will make your action beats and dialogue tags a lot easier. The fact of the matter is that when we talk, we don't tend to stand still and speak. Rather, we fidget. We interact with our space.

2.) Dialogue written in an active sequence (practice fishing in a wading pool) will often create more momentum than dialogue written in a passive sequence (sitting at a coffee shop). If you're trying to get your characters to move, make them talk and walk. If they need to sit and figure things out, let them sit. Just sit them somewhere interesting. (There's that episode of House in Season Four when House tells the TV crew that they talk while walking, it gives the illusion of the story moving forward... :-)

3.) What's not being said is just as important as what is being said. Consider what your characters want, and how they express it verbally. Consider what they're afraid of, and how that shades what they say. Be aware of subtext. In the fishing scene, there's a lot of silly with the fishing equipment before Luke gets down to business and asks enough questions to find out why exactly Lorelei's going fishing, though he's already got an idea. Notice how Lorelei hedges and Luke keeps probing, and when he finds out, things get quieter. When Lorelei says "You don't want to hear about my personal life," Luke stays quiet for a while, before asking "So this will be your first date or second date?"

He answers indirectly. He doesn't say "Why, yes, I do want to hear about your personal life," his evasion shows that he wants to know, but he doesn't want to be obvious about it. That he's hurt that she doesn't think he'd be interested. But he also wants to stay in the picture - he shows that by offering his pole and tackle box - which is a whole lot more interesting than Luke saying "Hey, when you're done with Charlie Swan, do you want to go out?"

4.) Dialogue tags and action beats. Dialogue tags are the "He said" bits that we stick around the dialogue so we know who's talking.

Now, it's okay to use certain amounts of "he said, she said" for tagging purposes. Readers will notice them less than if you try to get creative and use "he articulated" or "she uttered." However, you can also use action beats instead of tags.

Consider:

"I don't know why, but I like the other one better," she said.

"I don't know why, but I like the other one better," she said, wrinkling her nose.

The action beat attached to the tag is pretty straightforward, but gives a bit more detail visually.

"I don't know why," she tilted her head to the side. "But I like the other one better."

Throwing the beat into the middle puts a longer pause in the the center than you'd get from just a comma. This helps if you want to give your characters time to think and have it show up on the page. Depending on how you use the beats, you can mix up your pacing quite easily.

That's it for now...thinking about taking a pre-dinner nap. Hoping tomorrow is the magic day that I'll feel well enough to leave the house...also hoping this blog is coherent. I trust you to tell me if it's not.

"I'll be home for...crap."

I kid you not. During my sister's piano recital (which she RULED, by the way), one sweet little boy stepped up to the piano, played the opening chromatic chords to "I'll be Home for Christmas," but had a little trouble with the beginning lyrics. The above title is a direct quote.

It's Christmas Eve Eve, the equivalent of "Dead Week" for last minute shoppers of the family. For other families that day would be tomorrow, but my family celebrates the Birth of Christ on the evening of the 24th, which moves everything up a bit.

This has been a difficult Christmas season in some respects. I love Christmas, and I love everything that comes with it - the baking, the tree, the lights, the choosing of gifts. I was sick - the first time - when we went out for our tree. It sat undecorated for a while, until I felt better enough to go on a rampage.

I've learned a lot about myself and sickness this month. I've discovered that if I'm sick for a while, the moment I feel a bit better I'll go on a bender. All of a sudden, come hell or high water, I find myself 100% devoted to getting something done. The first time it was the tree, which I decorated myself (Danny was sick by then). In my infinite wisdom, I started the lights at the top and worked my way down. It seemed logical at the time. Now...less so.

Things were equalizing, we were both healthy, until I got sick last week. Again. So when I started coming out of that one, I began wrapping gifts. All the gifts. I blew my nose, then wrapped more.

I take wrapping pretty seriously. There is something deeply, deeply troubling to me if the identity of the gift can be guessed just by looking at it. Starting at a young age, I learned how to ID my gifts. I thumped the front, feeling for a plastic window. I felt around the edges to see if it was a Nordstrom box (they had wide edges at the time). I pressed the paper down to try to see through it. I shook. I rattled. I annoyed my parents with my startling accuracy.

Oh, and I had my patented question: "Is it in its original box?"

Seriously. After that, my parents took the wrapping up a notch. Clothes for my American Girl doll were wrapped inside a standard garmet box...along with a seatbelt clip and some bolts. Christmas has never been the same. What's funny is that I married someone who does not have the same compulsion to examine his gifts. He's happy opening them and being surprised. Can't understand it.

Anyway, I got sick, I felt better, I wrapped. There is one gift I'm particularly proud of in its sneakiness - not only is the item entirely disguised, but I disguised it using a collection of objects I've been trying to get rid of for six months.

Then my Christmas cards arrived from Costco Printing, and I started in on those. Fifty cards. Twenty-four hours. I'm actually quite proud.

My sister's Christmas recital was the night before last. She played "Falling Slowly" from Once, and it was incredible. But as the rest of the 75-minute program progressed, I had some time to think about music. Particularly Christmas music.

Such as...have you ever though about how creepy the song "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" really is? It makes him sound like a KGB operative...he knows everything. Scary. I mean -

"He sees you when you're sleeping,

He knows when you're awake,

He knows if you've been bad or good,

Because he wiretapped your place. Hey!"

(Note: I tried to put in a line about printing seditious pamphlets, but I couldn't get it to fit. "Pamphlets" is a tricky word to rhyme with

Other songs I dislike:

"Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" - Too cute-cutesy. Like the phrase "fro-yo", but worse.

"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" - I'm not sure how this works, since most people put their trees in corners or against walls. Maybe the line "Rockin' back and forth in front of the Christmas tree" didn't make it past the test group stage. Either way, there's no lyrics with any meaning or cleverness, and even if there were, I'd likely resent it anyway.

"We Wish You a Merry Christmas" - BO-ring melody, and that line about bringing us the figgy pudding has always set me off. I don't know anyone who has ever baked fig pudding, so demanding something so disgusting and likely unattainable is doubly rude.

There's my riff on Christmas music. As far as the rest of life, I need to work on my book today, which I'm officially halfway through. The plot is progressing well, and my character is currently outside of Amish country, which makes my life easier. I've had a copy of Amish Grace sitting around for a month, but I haven't been able to get myself to read it. Having read about everything to do with the Amish, I think I've found my limit.

Ideally, I might bake today. We'll see. But whatever happens, it won't be to the tune of "We Wish you a Merry Christmas," because I'm clean out of figgy pudding.

P.S. Australia review coming soon. In the meantime, go see it.